just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
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