Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
