omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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