Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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