i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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