A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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