I like to think it a success when the cops are called
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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