At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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