Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize