Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
