i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
