the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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