she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
