So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
