There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
