Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
