do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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