Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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