I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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