YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
