this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
