I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
