I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
