Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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