Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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