I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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