so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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