would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
this beer tastes like vomit already
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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