she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
