whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
