Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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