I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
