ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He felt like a one man threesome
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We are two peas in an std pod
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
