I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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