I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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