It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
