saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
