is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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