Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
