Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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