the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Randomize
