Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?

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(407): View more from Florida

im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes

(1-407): View more from Florida

i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.

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(217): View more from Illinois

he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper

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(760): View more from California

Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha

(1-760): View more from California

I hate my life

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.

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(805): View more from California

How much is that going to cost?

(1-805): View more from California

A lot of beer.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.

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(708): View more from Illinois

honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month

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(662): View more from Mississippi

the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.

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