i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
