FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
