How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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