You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
