it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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