She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
