I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she told me i tasted like america
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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