As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So I just went to clothing optional bar
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
