You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
