dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
