Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
