At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
