cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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