You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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