it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
