I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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