New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
